Sunday, November 1, 2009


I have been sick for several weeks now. The other day I had a horrible sinus headache while I was at work. I was desperate for some relief! Thankfully someone came to my rescue with a sinus medicine. I took it knowing my pain would soon be gone...wrong. While the pain was dulled it did not go away completely for nearly two days.

The Lord used this little incident to give me some insight into my faith. I realized I had more faith in a pill...that I didn't know what was in it...who had put it together...I trusted someone, somewhere, who had promised taking that pill would relieve my pain...than I did in my Creator. My Creator, who knit me, who lives in me and knows the pain I am feeling and exactly what I need. I whole heartily believe that God has given us the wisdom to use medicine to heal our bodies but in putting so much of my faith in medicine I often lack faith in my Creator to still perform miracles and heal me...of even a sinus headache. It caused me to take a look at the things I am quick to trust and why I often waver in my faith of God, when I know He is faithful and will not allow something to come to me that ultimately won't bring Him Greater Glory!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


So often revelation brings excitement and joy. Yet, right now it has brought hurt. I know the rejection I feel is far less than the hurt I cause the heart of the Father and He continues to love me beyond what I can comprehend. I know I must walk forward in love and extend grace and mercy no matter how often I am hurt again. I am reminded in this how our sin not only affects our own lives but the lives of the people around us. So often I think when I sin it will only affect me, but it doesn't it hurts the people in our lives too. How great the Love the Lord has lavished on us that we should be called His Friends!

Monday, August 31, 2009

Monday Musings

Its not that God doesn't want us to have or enjoy things on this earth. He just wants to be the chief desire of our hearts. When we are fully satisfied in Him, He can then bless us with things because we will not look to them to find our satisfaction.

Living lukewarm has less to do with what we are not doing for Him and more about taking our eyes off our first Love and finding delight and satisfaction in anything other than Him.

"Common sense is not faith" (Oswald Chambers); Often what the Lord leads us to do will not make sense to the world around us or even to our own "common sense" brain.

1 Peter 3:8-10 " Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers; be tenderhearted, be courteous, not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing." NKJV

This verse spoke deeply to my heart this morning as I continued to dwell on the Lord's reminder from yesterday concerning Love. He extended grace and mercy toward me the chief of sinner's while I was still a sinner. How much more then should I extend that same grace and mercy through blessing to those around me, especially those who sin against me.

"Let us believe that God is in all our deeds and learn to find Him there" AW Tozer

"The meek man cares not at all who is greater than he, for he has long ago decided that the esteem of the world is not worth the effort." AW Tozer

Sunday, August 23, 2009

What it all comes down to

I have been processing a lot recently...scripture...books...personal thoughts/beliefs...doctrine. As I have processed through the different things the Lord keeps bringing me back to the same place... Love.

God is love and everything opposite of Him and His glory is sin. He hates sin. He passionately hates sin.

Yet, His love for us was greater than His hatred of sin.

This morning in church, I was reminded how He lavishes grace upon me and I am to return that same grace to those around me...even when they sin. God is the righteous judge...the ONLY righteous judge. We are not to judge...we are to extend the same love and grace that was extended to us.

This was a huge reminder for me because there are several people in my life right now that I am struggling to love. The Lord calls us to "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13. The greatest command is "Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37

The Lord continues to work this out in me as He shows me the importance of living my life above reproach but making sure that is marked by love, grace and mercy and not condemnation. I should be focused on be rightly related to Him day by day and trust Him to work in the people around me. I love what Oswald Chambers says:
"The snare in Christian work is to rejoice in successful service, to rejoice in the fact that God has used you. You never can measure what God will do through you if you are rightly related to Jesus Christ. Keep your relationship right with Him, then whatever circumstances you are in, and whoever you meet day by day, He is pouring rivers of living water through you, and it is of His mercy that He does not let you know it. It is the work that God does through us that counts, not what we do for Him."

I want my gaze to be fixed upon Him moment by moment so that I can be "be poured out like a drink offering"(Philippians 2:17) so that my "left hand (will not) know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret"(Matthew 6:3-4)

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Holy Intent

"Not perfection, but holy intention made the difference." A.W. Tozer

When I first read this statement my mouth dropped open and I wrote, "WOW" in my book. My deepest desire is that my intentions in every single thing I do and say would be holy. Its so humbling to remember God does not expect perfection, however, He does desire to see "holy intention".

"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7


I'm so glad God is so patient with me. He is gently reminding me again that it is all about L-O-V-E! I know I should have learned this by now, at least I feel that way. However, He showed me that I was not loving well the "unlovables" in my life. This is where it becomes the hardest for me and I put my expectations of they way I think people should act or say in front of loving them with the same gracious love that was bestowed upon me.

I Corinthians 13:1-3
"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angles, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbol. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

My prayer today is that I would love well all those in my life. Those who are "easy" for me to love and those who are "hard" for me to love. I don't want to become a clanging cymbol in the ears of my Father, I want to honor and glorfiy Him in all and do and say and if I do anything without love it is for nothing!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

The Brightness of His Glory

I have been reading through the New Testament with some friends and right now we are reading in Hebrews. Hebrews is one of my favorite books of the New Testament. Each time I read it, it comes alive to me in new ways. One verse in particular stood out to me and I have meditated on it for several days now.

Hebrews 1:3 "...who being the brightness of His glory and the express image of His person and upholding all things by the word of His power, when He had by Himself purged our sins, sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high..."

Christ is the brightness of God's glory and the express image of His person. As believers, Christ lives in us through the Holy Spirit! When we live through the power of the Holy Spirit we become the brightness of God' glory!

What an honor this is to me, that when I chose to submit to the Holy Spirit in my life I can display the brightness of God's glory. Oh this is my prayer that I would display His glory to all I come in contact with today.

The Gaze of the Soul

A. W. Tozer is one of my favorite authors. His writing is eloquent, however, more than that it is sweet. The depth of his relationship with our Father grabs you and invites you into deeper waters. One of my favorite chapters from his book, "The Pursuit of God", is "The Gaze of the Soul". Here is talks about the precious gift of faith and that "faith is not a once-done act, but a continuous gaze of the heart at the Triune God."(Tozer)

My desire through this blog is to share my journey of gazing upward to the heart of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit and to hopefully encourage you on your journey!

"The splendor of a human heart which trusts that it is loved gives God more pleasure than Westminster Cathedral, the Sistine Chapel, Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, Van Gogh's Sunflowers, the sight of ten thousand butterflies in flight, or the scent of a million orchids in bloom. Trust is our gift back to God. Unwavering trust is a rare and a precious thing." Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust